Because of Him we will always have hope

No matter what age if there is an affliction upon us, we will always search out the most hopefull resolution -- Science or otherwise can afford.
Ten years ago at the age of 23, LaDawne began a difficult road, one marked with challenges and disappointments as well as hopes and joys.
Initially, back in the summer of 98,' LaDawne began experiencing "tingling" in her legs and hands. By October of that same year she was experiencing significant difficulties walking and was no longer able to grasp a pen on her own. She went home to Medicine Hat for two weeks to see her family doctor (as she was living in Calgary going to school) and he recommended her to see her first neurologist in Calgary. When she returned to Calgary, I, Kelly, noticed a significant decline in her abilities and realized probably for the first time the severity of her condition.
The first neurologist appointment was booked shortly after her arrival back to Calgary, and he suspected at that time that LaDawne had a "pinched nerve", but beyond that things were inconclusive. At that same time she was also scheduled for her fist MRI scan, however it was a long wait time, so we were able to book her into the private MRI clinic right away. Several RMC students raised $750 dollars for her to have this procedure. She was prescribed prednizone (a steroid/anti-inflammatory drug). LaDawne responded well to the prednizone, gaining approx. 75% of her strength back, however, still experiencing numbness in her body.
From this point on LaDawne visited 4 additional neurologists who all came back with similar inconclusive reports, from suspected (however non-diagnosable) MS to pinched nerves to "we will never figure you out". During all of this LaDawne remained to be such a "trooper" as Mike would say.....she continued to go to school and completed her degree in Counselling. Also, as some of you may know, LaDawne is quite stubborn, which serves her very well. I remember her always wanting to wear her button fly jeans. Although she was unable to do up her own pants at that point, she insisted to wear them anyways, and would meet people in the washroom, "that she knew" and ask them to undue her pants for her......ahhhh LaDawne always needing to maintain your cool status.
2 1/2 yeas later, LaDawne felt led to have the pastors and elders of Centre Street Church pray for her. At that time she was more desperate for an answer to what was happening in her body, than even for healing at that point.....so they anointed her with oil and asked that the Lord reveal what was happening to her. A short time later she was speaking with a professor from RMC who suggested that LaDawne look at a website for Chiari Malformation. The symptoms that she was experiencing lined up with the symptoms of Chiari, and LaDawne felt very hopeful at that time that something was going to change finally because it was operable. The cost of the surgery was $45,000. Praise the Lord that money was raised for her in 5 weeks time! Additionally at that time LaDawne needed a society that could provide tax receipts for donors. She went into her room and prayed about it and when she returned back to the kitchen the phone rang and a man from the "for the love of the children society of Alberta" called and said that he would like to be her "backing society". Hope grew and the surgery was schedualed for July 19, 2000. The doctors here in Alberta did not agree with this diagnosis yet prayers were being answered and doors were being opened, the doctors here had nothing to offer this 25 year old woman.
Following the surgery LaDawne experienced 7 years of stable health, no progression or regression. During these seven years LaDawne and I were married, a very happy and joyful time in our lives. One of LaDawne's dreams was to walk down the isle, many of you witnessed this happen =). Also during this time LaDawne continued to follow up with a neurologist here in Calgary. It was in February of 2005 that LaDawne's doctor assured her that scans showed no sign of a demylenating ie. Multiple sclerosis. And so, throughout this time we always believed that the treatment for Chiari did its job and things would not get worse. But, in November of this past year LaDawne's symptoms continued to worsen. Not as dramatically as the summer of 98', but a slow and steady inability to use her legs effectively in walking. This prompted us to search out more help and possibly a second opinion. Again, "inconclusive" was the only answer we received. This was not good enough, we needed answers so we got a referral to a MS specialist here in Calgary in the begning of February 08'. We are still waiting for a call. Due to the experience we had with diagnosis ten years ago, we anticipated a long wait with no more answers. It was then that we made the decision to seek out help at the Mayo Clinic down in Rochester, Minnesota. They accepted the application and through your prayers and support the doors were opened. We needed an answer.
Well here we are now with our answer. Thank you Lord!
As difficult as it may seem LaDawne and I are at peace. The Love and support we have felt through this process has been amazing, thank you all. We will always have hope, God has led us through quite a journey, but the emphasis is that GOD has led us. He has and will continue to bless us with love and joy and miracles!
He is alive, He is risen from the dead! There is nothing that God cannot do. Please be blessed and celebrate with us this Easter.


(This post was composed by LaDawne, Mike and our friend Kelly Johnson)

Well we made it back home

Its 3.15am right now and we just got back from the airport. It feels good to be home, at the same time though our emotions are a little mixed. I have had some time to formulate my thoughts and will be posting again some time later today or Sunday. LaDawne was a real trooper doing that last post after that final consult (even trying to lighten her heavy mood by joking about wearing cool jeans.)

I have heard that there have been some difficulties leaving comments and we definitely don't want these comments to stop coming. We really do appreciate them a lot. I just attempted leaving a post to ourselves and found that the easiest way is to: leave the comment follow the other instructions and then click anonymous. Clicking anonymous will guarantee the post will get through, just sign off at the end of the post so we know who you are.

Thank you all again for your prayers and support.

Mike

Our Last Consultation

As we write this part of our experience here at the Mayo clinic, our spirits are a little heavy. The doctor said that I do have MS. It is not attacking my brain, instead it is attacking my spine. You know, we did come here for honesty and for a diagnosis just as much as we came here for treatment. So, God did answer our prayers in this way. As far as treatment goes, it should have been treated years ago to stop the damage to my nerves. Now, the damage is done and there have not been any acute attacks for nine years. However, the doctor told us that our best form of treatment would be found in stem cell research. She told us that this is being researched in a big way and to watch for clinical trials. This is exciting, but it does involve some more waiting. She also said that since my brain has not being affected so much, my mind, my memory, my speech and my cognitive ability is not affected. As of right now, I know this is good but I can't really see how good this is because my legs are so bad. Mike said that it is better to have my upper body working so well because I can still do my things around the house and I can hold a cup and all that. I am wondering though why I would even bother wearing pants; it's not like I can walk around for people to notice what cool pants I am wearing. I say this because I notice what cool pants every one else is wearing. I guess I will just have to tell people that I am wearing cool pants. The doctor also said that I need to keep exercising, especially the muscles that are good. She said that I am very healthy in every other way so I need to keep that up. In the last 4 days, my husband and I have hung on to each other really tightly. We have cried and laughed and pondered. I want to tell you all that even though we are feeling a little overwhelmed right now, it is important for us to remember that God gave me a promise of healing and today does not change His plan. He has done some very beautiful things for us on this trip, especially between me and Mike. This in itself is a gift. So, as we wait for a clinical trial one day, we will learn how to deal with this. When I think about it, it should not be that hard because we have been doing it for years already. We just did not know what it was before. There is a Rascal Flatts song that says to take what you are given before it's gone. 3 years ago, I thought I felt pretty bad. I should have been more thankful at that time because I would give anything to go back to that point. Another song by Rascal Flatts ( yes, this is one of my favorite bands-if you ever get the chance to see them in concert, do it. They are incredible! I even got Mike singing some of their songs) says that you look up above and say you can't take anymore and then you dust yourself off and you stand. This is what we will try and do. The thing is that we can look back all we want and wish that we got better care from the doctors that we saw, but it would not have happened any differently because God was in control of all of it. Right now, I am talking like we are handling all of this really well. We are not there yet but we know the truth-God is in control and He wants the best for us. I don't know how this is good for me and Mike-AT ALL, but we are holding on to His promises to us. With all my heart, I believe that God did give me a promise of healing and we will not let go of that. It is easy to rationalize that away today, but I do feel God telling me to just wait a little longer. I am just not sure what His definition of "little" is. Mike's sister, my beautiful sister-in-law reminded us of a verse from Exodus 14:14. It says that God will fight our battles and we just need to be still. He is fighting this battle for us. We will go day by day and wait on Him. I also want to say that we could not have asked for a better doctor here at the clinic and we were treated so well by everyone. It is an amazing place and we are glad we came. We are thankful for all of your prayers and financial support. We could not have done any of this without you. We ask that you keep praying for us and wait on Him with us as His promise is fulfilled.

Some Pictures of the Mayo Clinic

Well tomorrow is a scheduled consult with the neurologist regarding the results of the tests these past couple days. In the meantime we would like to show you the facility that we have been in these past few days.



The following morning of our arrival we checked in to the hospital.



This is the main auditorium of the Gonda building at the Mayo Clinic. The Gonda building was donated by a very generous couple.



The Mayo Clinic is a not-for-profit hospital, all of the costs we have incured while here are not in excess of basics operating costs. The service is amazing, we receive testing and results within days and in some cases hours. Everything is done so efficiently and effectively. It would seem it should cost more.



This is another example of one of the corridors in the clinic...beautiful facility.


LaDawne waiting in anticipation of the first consult with the neuroligist...you can appreciate her excitement here.



Here is the three of us still waiting for that initial consult...



LaDawne in our hotel room updating the blog.


Mike taking a much needed stress relieving nap...that initial consult was a lot to take (honestly)...shopping also took its toll, the women needed their stress relief as well =)



Enjoying some comfort food at the mall. (no Mozza Burgers in the USA, I can't even put LaDawne's disappointment into words.)

Throughout the facility there are amazing pieces of art. This is a three sided revolving artwork. There are many of these special touches that have been donated to enhance and make the stay a little more enjoyable for the patients and the staff that work there.

Tomorrow is a big day, we will make sure to keep you posted after our consultation. Please continue to pray for us.

The Morning of the Spinal Tap

As I woke up this morning, I was anticipating the worst. I was so afraid of this test. Mike was really good at helping me be a little bit more calm. He didn't make me talk lots, he was just near me. When the spinal nurse came to call us in, I asked if Mike could come in with me. At first she said they don't really allow family in there because they end up falling on their heads. This did not calm me at all. I mean, it sounds bad if people are falling on their heads. So I asked why people do that. She told us it was because they tried to watch the procedure. However, that would not happen to Mike. (He's tough!) Mike told her that I had a very traumatic experience with my last one and she let him come with me. I was so thank-full! She started by educating us on the procedure and then I had to lie on my side on the table curled up in a ball with my chin down. By this time, I was shivering because when I am scared I get very cold. And, I was crying, holding on tightly to my husband. I will say this, it is a good thing that I could not run at that point. I would have been out of there so fast. By the time she numbed my back, I actually had to ask Mike if the fluid was coming out. The nurse did an amazing job. All I could feel was pressure. My last was so painful that I almost think he did not freeze me good enough. So, all in all it went way better then I imagined it would go. Thank you for praying for me. This afternoon at 2:30 I have an eye test and then tomorrow we meet with the doctor to go over all my tests. I am amazed at how fast things happen here. We meet with the doctor at 8:15 AM. We ask that you pray that something would be found in these results that is helpful in determining what is wrong and how to help me. Mike and I are asking God to show Himself to us. We just don't know when He will do that but we are trusting that He will. This trip has to mean something as it seemed that God opened every door for us to come here. We are trying to trust and be patient. We really appreciate all of your thoughts, prayers and support. It means so much to us.

An afternoon of escape

The mri's that I had this morning lasted 90 minutes. You have to be very still for this test, and wouldn't you know it? Every thing gets itchy and I had to yawn like 8 times. (I am sure I had to yawn because I was up at 5AM. This is NOT my most functional hour of the day-I can't even think straight. I am just so sad and mad that I have to stay up.) Anyway, have you ever tried to yawn with your mouth closed? Try it. It is very hard and your whole head shakes. This is not very good for the mri scan. They had to repeat one of the 4 minute tests-I was probably yawning.

Yesterday was a hard day. However, Mike and I took time to listen to each other and to try and understand what is going on. Mike is so incredible! As he is struggling with what we heard, he continues to show me how much he loves me. I am honestly so very blessed by him. He would never agree with me but I will keep telling him that he is an amazing man. He is a gift that I do not deserve. When I finally woke up this morning, well maybe at around 9 AM, I realized that one day does not change God's plan for us. I believe He gave me a promise of healing. We are not sure exactly what God is using this trip for but we are going to continue to trust Him and wait for His timing. Brandon, (Trev, we know this is you) your message to us really got us thinking and it reminded us of God's power. Although it is hard to understand Him right now, we want to trust Him.

Tomorrow, I have an eye test and a spinal tap. Now, I had a spinal tap back in 2000 and I will never forget that pain. I am very scared and if I could get out of it, I would. Not to mention it is at 7:45 AM. Very early! I suppose this is good to get it over with right away. I will be squeezing Mike's hand very hard.

Today we did some shopping. It was 3 hours of escaping from reality for a while. We all needed that. Mike was very gracious to take us to the mall as it is his least favorite place to be. And of course, mom always makes us laugh. There was this lady in the food court who had a very loud and interesting laugh. Instead of looking so that no one would notice, she turned right around
in her chair and looked right at her. I mean-her whole body turned. Very cute! As much as she makes us laugh, she is also a great support to us right now. It is good for us to hear her thoughts and she is a woman of prayer. She shares in our pain and frustrations and at the same time she encourages us in who we are as a couple.

We ask that you pray that these tests will bring some answers, and that there would be some form of treatment. We ask that you also pray that no matter what the results are, we continue to trust. There are times we both feel that we cannot do this anymore-we just want it to be done. We need His grace to persevere.

Your Comments

Well LaDawne is getting her MRI's taken right now. We were up at 5 this morning, and I must say the lack of sleep and impact of yesterdays consult has been a little wearing.

I want all of you to know that your comments are very encouraging and we would love to hear more. I'm not sure if all of you are aware of this fact but out of the two of us LaDawne is the more steadfast and strong one. In a moment like this I feel weaker then ever, and even though LaDawne has been discouraged since yesterday's first consult she keeps on going and has complete faith that God will work a miracle (oh, how I love this woman). I would ask that all of you would please extend your faith in your prayers for the same.

Thank you all again for your prayers and support, without which, this trip would not be possible. We will keep you up to date every day and if time permits a few times per day.

The Initial Consult

Well, three hours of the basic poking and prodding and question and answer time with two very specialized doctors, which didn't seem to offer us much change in the status quo. Doctor Weinshenker explained that according to all the information he had read on LaDawne's case and the surface exam he preformed there is not much more new information he could give us. Since LaDawne's most recent attack back in December 07, there have been no MRI's taken in Alberta. This is one issue that the doctor was displeased with. And so he asked that we go for more recent and in-depth testing for tomorrow and Wednesday. This testing will include three MRI's of the whole spine as well as the brain, a spinal tap, an eye exam (as it pertains to MS and neurology) and some blood tests.
It is very hard to understand the plan that God has for us here as we did expect greater things, more positive things at our first consultation. The tests may show something that will give them some more answers which would be so good. Even though it feels like God has deserted us at this moment, we know that He has not. He is the God of miracles. Please pray that the rest of our time here would bring about something positive. We wish that we could share some exciting things with you right now, but as of this moment, we must be okay with this part of the plan. We ask that you do not give up your hope or your constant prayers for God to shower His mercy upon us.

Arriving in Rochester, Minnesota

We were just about to take a picture of all of us in our hotel and we realized that we, well if I am being honest with you all...I forgot the USB cable to upload them. So we are going to get one and then take pictures every day starting tomorrow. Our trip began early this morning around 4:30am (I found my wife sitting in the closet, very wide-eyed and awake...my wife is not a morning person by any stretch...I could tell she was excited!). We left Calgary at 9:35 (50 min late) and arrived here in Rochester around 7pm. It was a long day, after clearing customs in Calgary (which went very well) it was just a matter of making a connecting flight from Denver to Minneapolis. There is one exception to this non eventful trip and that is these really cute yet very awkward isle chairs. Not only are these the smallest wheelchairs in existence, the flight attendants insisted on using all 4 seatbelt straps (it wasn't just uncomfortable and I must have been quite a sight). It felt like I was in a strait jacket...and I'm sure that's what it looked like!

When we arrived in Rochester, we drove by the Mayo clinic as it is attached to our hotel and it is absolutely amazing. It brought me to tears and Mike and mom were smiling very big. Pictures on the internet do not do the Mayo Clinic justice.

Mike and I will continue to post our progress and talks with Doctors day to day, for now we hope for a good night's rest, even with a new case of nervousness.

After seeing many doctors in the last number of years, it seems that they have not been able to come to any conclusions about what is going on in regards to my health. Because of this, we have decided to go to the Mayo clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. They have teams of doctors that do extensive testing on patients. Out of the three Mayo clinics, the one in Rochester has the highest rated neurology department. All of this excites us as we look forward to doctors going deeper to try and help me.
As we begin to share this part of our journey with you, I want to tell you that no part of the last 10 years has been easy. Having said that, I also want you to know that Mike and I still laugh, we make jokes and we have fun doing the things that are within our ability. (Okay, my ability) I truly have the most wonderful, amazing and patient husband. He makes me feel safe and he absolutely loves me even though I fall every now and then in public. (Trust me, this is not one of my most graceful moments) I do know that God never told us that this life here on earth would always be a bed of roses. I know that we have been given this cross to bear for reasons that are very unknown to us. This is very frustrating at times! When I was younger, I used to say that I knew what it meant to have faith. However, this is like someone saying that they love their enemies when they don't have one single enemy. I did not have any physical problems back then and so of course I thought I knew what it meant to have such faith. I have learned that faith is believing in the power of God when the end result seems so impossible. This is the hardest part of faith. There have been many ups and downs on this journey that we have been on for what seems like a million years, but we know that God already new that this was going to happen. This is comforting when I have not had a bad day. I am learning to trust Him every day, even on the bad ones. No matter what happens to us on any given day, none of it changes the plan that God has for us. My husband says that one of my gifts is to talk a lot. However, I am not sure that he considers this to be a gift when he is trying to watch T.V. My point is that I think I have talked a lot in my very first entry so I will end with this. When I was little, my mom gave me a picture of this little girl with her hair all messy, her shirt was unbuttoned and her shoes were untied. The saying under the picture said, "Please be patient with me, God isn't finished with me yet." I had no idea that this picture would have so much meaning to me now but it does. God is not finished with me yet. We are thank full for all of your support both with prayer and finances. We see how God is opening doors and he is using all of you to do just this for us. We are very blessed. (Oh and don't worry, I will let Mike write sometimes and then it won't be so long.)